Self-Love & Beyond

Philautia – The ancient Greek word that means “Love of Self”.

One of the most complicated relationship that each of us have is not with our significant other or parents or friends or someone else, but solely with ourselves. No matter how many mistakes we end up making, we never have the option to walk away from ourselves. With time and realization, we forgive and deal with every flaw and find a way to love even when we are disgusted with ourselves.

Yet, self-love feels hard. No matter how many times we’ve been told to love ourselves unconditionally and unapologetically. We act like we know it all, without having a clue. For me, it’s been always a struggle and I don’t know why. I’m so used to putting others and their needs first that it feels guilty to do something for myself before considering others. I understand how important and powerful self-love is, but somehow my thoughts automatically get negative.

On days when I feel unworthy, unloveable, and undeserving of self-love is when I truly need it the most. Be it an overwhelming day at work or an argument with a loved one leaving me to feel unloved, I consciously try pushing myself to learn from grueling experiences, owning up to my mistakes, and valuing my self-worth. Even when it’s a tough day and it feels like everything I did was wrong, I strive to have a beacon of hope and give myself a cheer for surviving through the day. Acknowledging my feelings and journaling them helps me separate my self-critical thoughts from the healthy ones. Since my early teenage years, my journal has been my safe haven through the breakdowns and challenges while crying myself to sleep.

How many times do we ask ourselves the vexed questions – Am I happy? How can I make myself happier?

Hardly ever!

It’s beautiful to be kind to yourself. Knowing that you’re enough. Even on the worst days. Loving yourself through the worst and the best. Walking with your head held high. Embracing your mistakes. Saying 'no' when need be. Doing everything to your heart's desire.

Self-love isn’t a one-time glamorous, edited version of yourself for the Insta but a life-long process. There’s no going back from loving yourself.

As Brené Brown said, “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.”